¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÇÏ*È£
2021-05-17 865

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. Then teacher can write it on report card. It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Leo!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


I think manners affect our success in life, because if we act rude, we can get punished at school. 

>> CORRECT!

Then teacher can write it on report card. 

>> Then the teacher can write about it on the report card.

It can go until we are grown up and have a interview to have a job. 

>> It can go on until we are all grown up and have an interview to get a job. 

It can be a minus point if you have bad results in our report card. and if we have bad manners, it can be a habit. 

>> It can be a minus point if we have bad results in our report card and if we have bad manners, it can turn into a habit. 

It is a big problem because it is hard to break a habit.

>> It is a big problem because it is hard to break a bad habit.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107326 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 3
107325 [04/07]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 726
107324 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 981
107323 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 769
107322 Simple, but pretty~^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 811
107321 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 885
107320 Have or has Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 688
107319 What would you change about your life if you could? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107318 What are the personality and physical differences between you... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107317 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 620
107316 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 734
107315 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107314 What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 837
107313 If you are going to make a movie, what story would you like to... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 614
107312 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 550
107311 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 9
107310 What is the biggest change this world needs? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1
107309 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 4
107308 What is your favorite TV program? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 1185
107307 If you\'ll get a chance to join a contest, what contest would it... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-08 791

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04