¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*¼ö
2021-05-18 1031

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, life of people is getting better rapidly. 10 years ago, so many countries and peoples needed to fight with famine. Surely, it is still going on. Even so, people thinks about happiness nowadays totally much more than before Because of people can afford it now.
However, there is a big problem at this moment. The Covid-19 spreaded all around the world and so many people is influenced by Pandemic. I can say present is better than past. But, it might be possible after Covid Pandemic.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jay! Thank you for completing your homework today. Check below for the corrections I made for you. Have a fantastic day!~~T.Dee

In my opinion, life of people is getting better rapidly. 
>>In my opinion, the lives of people are getting better rapidly. 
>>OR: In my opinion, the quality of human life is getting better rapidly.
10 years ago, so many countries and peoples needed to fight with famine. 
>>Ten years ago, so many countries and people needed to fight with famine. 
Surely, it is still going on. 
>>CORRECT!
Even so, people thinks about happiness nowadays totally much more than before Because of people can afford it now.
>> Even so, people think about and focus on achieving happiness nowadays much more than before because people can afford it now.
However, there is a big problem at this moment. 
>>CORRECT!
The Covid-19 spreaded all around the world and so many people is influenced by Pandemic. 
>>The Covid-19 had spread all around the world and lots of people are infected.
I can say present is better than past. But, it might be possible after Covid Pandemic.
>>I can say that the present is better than past but it might only  be possible after this Covid-19 Pandemic.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109536 Do you like energy drinks? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 3
109535 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 348
109534 The best President ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 1
109533 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 377
109532 The solution of keeping my life balance ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 391
109531 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 4
109530 Am I a good person? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 388
109529 Homewokr ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 382
109528 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109527 What are the physical effects of getting angry? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 2
109526 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 375
109525 Vice president! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 303
109524 Painting Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 272
109523 What dream of yours do you want to come true? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 316
109522 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 325
109521 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109520 What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109519 Diary 0621 ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 0
109518 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 1
109517 Where do you want to travel next? Why? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-21 369

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04