¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*¼ö
2021-05-18 972

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, life of people is getting better rapidly. 10 years ago, so many countries and peoples needed to fight with famine. Surely, it is still going on. Even so, people thinks about happiness nowadays totally much more than before Because of people can afford it now.
However, there is a big problem at this moment. The Covid-19 spreaded all around the world and so many people is influenced by Pandemic. I can say present is better than past. But, it might be possible after Covid Pandemic.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jay! Thank you for completing your homework today. Check below for the corrections I made for you. Have a fantastic day!~~T.Dee

In my opinion, life of people is getting better rapidly. 
>>In my opinion, the lives of people are getting better rapidly. 
>>OR: In my opinion, the quality of human life is getting better rapidly.
10 years ago, so many countries and peoples needed to fight with famine. 
>>Ten years ago, so many countries and people needed to fight with famine. 
Surely, it is still going on. 
>>CORRECT!
Even so, people thinks about happiness nowadays totally much more than before Because of people can afford it now.
>> Even so, people think about and focus on achieving happiness nowadays much more than before because people can afford it now.
However, there is a big problem at this moment. 
>>CORRECT!
The Covid-19 spreaded all around the world and so many people is influenced by Pandemic. 
>>The Covid-19 had spread all around the world and lots of people are infected.
I can say present is better than past. But, it might be possible after Covid Pandemic.
>>I can say that the present is better than past but it might only  be possible after this Covid-19 Pandemic.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108523 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 395
108522 Writing task ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 392
108521 School Performance Assessment 4-2 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 4
108520 School Performance Assessment 4-1 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 5
108519 Who\'s music encourages you most? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108518 What is your favorite month and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 474
108517 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 354
108516 Homework 5.14 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 941
108515 What is your favorite month and why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108514 Will you allow your friends to visit your place? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1038
108513 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 437
108512 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108511 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 403
108510 Why I applied to Graduate school of Education. Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 404
108509 Self introduction in English Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 436
108508 What did you do last weekend? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 428
108507 Home work(5.12) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 821
108506 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108505 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 2
108504 In this modern world that we live in, do you think that war is a... º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 368

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04