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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

Do you think sending your loved ones to nursing homes is a kind of abandonment? Why or why not?

작성자: 류*주
2021-05-19 555

회원님의 영작문

I think sending my loved people to nursing himes is not a kind of abandonment.
In this society, if we want to earn money, we have to work or sell somethings.
In the past, kings or other rich people, like nobilities, didn't have to work as other people.
They were just sitting on their house, and their workmen worked so the people could earn money.
But now, there are no any rich people like kings or rich people, like nobilities.
That means this society is very fair, so we have to work if we want to earn money.
But we can be little busy, so we may can't care of our loved people.
So I think sending my loved people to nursing himes is not a kind of abandonment.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi John! The reasons articulated by families for transferring their loved ones to nursing homes include the need for higher professional care, health care , behaviors associated with dementia and the need for more assistance. Some people agree with this method and some don't. Regardless of so, we should know the story first before judging these families. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think sending my loved people to nursing himes is not a kind of abandonment.
>> I think sending loved ones to nursing homes is not a kind of abandonment.

In this society, if we want to earn money, we have to work or sell somethings.
>> In this society, if we want to earn money, we have to work or sell something. 

In the past, kings or other rich people, like nobilities, didn't have to work as other people.
>> In the past, rich people, mostly nobilities, didn't have to work as much as other people. 

They were just sitting on their house, and their workmen worked so the people could earn money.
>> They just sat in their houses and working men worked hard to earn money. 

But now, there are no any rich people like kings or rich people, like nobilities.
>> Although nowadays, there are no more nobilities. 

That means this society is very fair, so we have to work if we want to earn money.
>> The meant that society is fair again so we need to work if we want to earn money. 

But we can be little busy, so we may can't care of our loved people.
>> We tend to be a little busy so we can't take care of our loved ones. 

So I think sending my loved people to nursing himes is not a kind of abandonment.
>> So I think sending loved ones to nursing homes is not a kind of abandonment.
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