¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-05-19 950

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think was the most important invention in history?

I think it's definitely using fire. Since our ancient ancestors were using fire, they could protect themselves from cold, dangerous animals, and cook meat well. Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily so it comes to be improved their intelligence.
There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire is the most impactful invention in the history of mankind.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer! All inventions serve a purpose to everyone. They are made to make our lives more convenient although there are some that stand out to us the most. Thanks for sharing yours :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I think it's definitely using fire. 
>> CORRECT

Since our ancient ancestors were using fire, they could protect themselves from cold, dangerous animals, and cook meat well. 
>> Since our ancient ancestors used fire, they could cook and protect themselves from the cold and dangerous animals.

Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily so it comes to be improved their intelligence.
>> Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily. It has been improved because of technology. 

There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire is the most impactful invention in the history of mankind.
>> There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire has the most impact in the history of mankind.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111934 What good advice can you give your friend about her situation? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1
111933 What kind of food reminds you of your childhood and why? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 648
111932 What is your expected salary? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 636
111931 9.13 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1
111930 What other companies are you interviewing with? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 540
111929 How do you handle unexpected events? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 493
111928 i\'m tired.................. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 505
111927 What skills do you think are most critical to this job? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 435
111926 What is your unforgettable Chuseok? Answer in a few sentences. ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 609
111925 Good show for kids ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 511
111924 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 522
111923 If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 598
111922 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 458
111921 What kind of food reminds you of your childhood and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1
111920 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 536
111919 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 430
111918 About austraillia À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 1
111917 If you can add a room to your house, what room would it be and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 2
111916 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 558
111915 Claire\'s homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-13 621

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04