¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-05-19 779

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think was the most important invention in history?

I think it's definitely using fire. Since our ancient ancestors were using fire, they could protect themselves from cold, dangerous animals, and cook meat well. Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily so it comes to be improved their intelligence.
There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire is the most impactful invention in the history of mankind.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer! All inventions serve a purpose to everyone. They are made to make our lives more convenient although there are some that stand out to us the most. Thanks for sharing yours :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I think it's definitely using fire. 
>> CORRECT

Since our ancient ancestors were using fire, they could protect themselves from cold, dangerous animals, and cook meat well. 
>> Since our ancient ancestors used fire, they could cook and protect themselves from the cold and dangerous animals.

Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily so it comes to be improved their intelligence.
>> Cooking with fire helps them to take protein easily. It has been improved because of technology. 

There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire is the most impactful invention in the history of mankind.
>> There are lots of remarkable inventions in human history but because of those listed reasons above, I think using fire has the most impact in the history of mankind.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109259 Do you think you have been a racist once in your life? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109258 What are the things that people used to do before but not... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 437
109257 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 464
109256 Homework (301) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 467
109255 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 449
109254 homework of friday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 484
109253 [06/04]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109252 I want to go to the future!!!!> ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 488
109251 My biggest weak part in English ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 444
109250 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 490
109249 ÈÞ°­¿äûÇÕ´Ï´Ù ±è*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 425
109248 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 428
109247 Do people drive well in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 3
109246 How do you define beauty, using your own words? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 1
109245 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 442
109244 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 3
109243 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 0
109242 Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 462
109241 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 340
109240 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 479

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04