¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase \"domestic violence\"? In some countries, domestic viole

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-05-25 686

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children. But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happend. Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime. Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Solyna! ^^
Thank you so much for doing your homework.
Enjoy your weekend! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. 
>> Some news that was recently related to child abuse comes to my mind. 

There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. 
>> There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence, and neglect. 

All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. 
>> All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness of that. 

Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children.
>> Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and child abuse.

But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happened. 
>> But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly the right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't happen. 

Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
>> Therefore, every government should recognize the seriousness of domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish laws about it.

I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime yet.

Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. 
>> Every child has the right to live safely and the first place to feel it is their home.

I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.
>> I hope the world would be a place where every child lives happily without any violence and bad things.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112351 0929 ±è*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 2
112350 If you will be away from your family for three days, what would... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 1
112349 speaking part-2(person) ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 563
112348 Do you believe that the rich are growing richer, and the poor... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-30 362
112347 9.28 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112346 Why is English fluency significant for you? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 1
112345 Dear Debbie ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112344 ^^ ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 438
112343 What delicious food can you make? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 516
112342 What food do you like to try to cook? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 469
112341 What\'s your fondest childhood memory? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 2
112340 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 3
112339 What\'s your thought on your country\'s traditional holidays? Çã*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 0
112338 present for parents. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 536
112337 Do children learn bad habit at school or at home? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 6
112336 HOMEWORK: What was the happiest moment of your life? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 542
112335 page 40 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 646
112334 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 527
112333 Hope ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 684
112332 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-29 476

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04