¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase \"domestic violence\"? In some countries, domestic viole

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿¬
2021-05-25 560

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children. But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happend. Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime. Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Solyna! ^^
Thank you so much for doing your homework.
Enjoy your weekend! :)

~ Teacher Tricia

Several news recently related to abusing children comes to my mind. 
>> Some news that was recently related to child abuse comes to my mind. 

There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence and neglect. 
>> There are many types of domestic violence like physical violence, emotional violence, and neglect. 

All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness about that. 
>> All types of domestic violence should be prohibited and everybody should have awareness of that. 

Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and abusing children.
>> Thankfully, these days many people have consciousness about domestic violence and child abuse.

But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't be happened. 
>> But I think we still have miles to go before everybody has exactly the right awareness that all types of domestic violence shouldn't happen. 

Therefore, Every goverment should recognize the seriousness about domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish a law.
>> Therefore, every government should recognize the seriousness of domestic violence and show their movement to change people's awareness and establish laws about it.

I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime.
>> CORRECT!
OR>> I can't really understand why domestic violence isn't a crime yet.

Every child has the right to live safely and their first place to live is their home. 
>> Every child has the right to live safely and the first place to feel it is their home.

I hope the world where every child live happy without any violence and bad things.
>> I hope the world would be a place where every child lives happily without any violence and bad things.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109610 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 495
109609 Home work :) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 460
109608 Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 455
109607 Are these sentences gramatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 3
109606 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 488
109605 : In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 583
109604 Mourn ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 576
109603 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 401
109602 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 681
109601 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109600 What bad habits bother you the most? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109599 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 447
109598 How can traveling be educational? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 521
109597 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109596 Who shoud pay on dates? À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109595 Use the words in a sentence ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 329
109594 HW ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 0
109593 What would you say is the best thing about living in your town... ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109592 What do you think about people who have HIV? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 2
109591 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-23 376

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04