¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-05-25 634

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you going to get rid of it?

My bad habits are, not doing work out at all and having dinner very late. As my work finished late even after 10 pm, I have dinner around midnight sometimes. Even in this situation, I felt well when I was in the 20s but recently I feel my health is getting worse as I'm already in the 30s. So, trying to have dinner in the company before 7 pm if my work is going to be finished late. And also before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go to the mountains. However, nowadays I feel tired all the time, so I just try to take a rest on my day off. Since I started my work the first time, I gained a lot of weight. So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from the work and do some workout as much as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer!

Most of the time, bad habits are simply a way of dealing with stress and boredom. Everything from biting your nails to overspending on a shopping spree to drinking every weekend to wasting time on the internet can be a simple response to stress and boredom.

But it doesn't have to be that way. You can teach yourself new and healthy ways to deal with stress and boredom, which you can then substitute in place of your bad habits.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


My bad habits are, not doing work out at all and having dinner very late. 
>> My bad habits are not working out and having dinner very late at night. 

As my work finished late even after 10 pm, I have dinner around midnight sometimes. 
>> Even if my work finishes at 10pm, I will have dinner around midnight sometimes. 

Even in this situation, I felt well when I was in the 20s but recently I feel my health is getting worse as I'm already in the 30s. 
>> Even now, I still feel like I'm in my 20's but I realize that my health is getting worse as I am already in my 30's. 

So, trying to have dinner in the company before 7 pm if my work is going to be finished late. 
>> So, I try to have dinner at the company by 7pm if I am going to work late. 

And also before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go to the mountains. 
>> Before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go hiking. 

However, nowadays I feel tired all the time, so I just try to take a rest on my day off. 
>> However, nowadays I feel tired all the time so I just try to take a rest on my day offs. 

Since I started my work the first time, I gained a lot of weight. 
>> Since I started working, I gained a lot of weight. 

So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from the work and do some workout as much as possible.
>> So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from work and do some workout as much as possible.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113084 Can people change? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 0
113083 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 538
113082 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 697
113081 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 536
113080 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113079 homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 444
113078 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 454
113077 28 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2334
113076 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113075 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 2
113074 Homework {10/20} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 483
113073 What are your bad behaviors and how are you going to change them? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 529
113072 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 462
113071 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 1
113070 What food do you always order online? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 564
113069 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 809
113068 Human beings are being judged according to their social status... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 676
113067 musical instrument ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 600
113066 what I will wear in my school ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 475
113065 My bad behaviors ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-20 413

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04