¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-05-25 593

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you going to get rid of it?

My bad habits are, not doing work out at all and having dinner very late. As my work finished late even after 10 pm, I have dinner around midnight sometimes. Even in this situation, I felt well when I was in the 20s but recently I feel my health is getting worse as I'm already in the 30s. So, trying to have dinner in the company before 7 pm if my work is going to be finished late. And also before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go to the mountains. However, nowadays I feel tired all the time, so I just try to take a rest on my day off. Since I started my work the first time, I gained a lot of weight. So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from the work and do some workout as much as possible.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer!

Most of the time, bad habits are simply a way of dealing with stress and boredom. Everything from biting your nails to overspending on a shopping spree to drinking every weekend to wasting time on the internet can be a simple response to stress and boredom.

But it doesn't have to be that way. You can teach yourself new and healthy ways to deal with stress and boredom, which you can then substitute in place of your bad habits.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


My bad habits are, not doing work out at all and having dinner very late. 
>> My bad habits are not working out and having dinner very late at night. 

As my work finished late even after 10 pm, I have dinner around midnight sometimes. 
>> Even if my work finishes at 10pm, I will have dinner around midnight sometimes. 

Even in this situation, I felt well when I was in the 20s but recently I feel my health is getting worse as I'm already in the 30s. 
>> Even now, I still feel like I'm in my 20's but I realize that my health is getting worse as I am already in my 30's. 

So, trying to have dinner in the company before 7 pm if my work is going to be finished late. 
>> So, I try to have dinner at the company by 7pm if I am going to work late. 

And also before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go to the mountains. 
>> Before I entered my company, I used to play basketball and go hiking. 

However, nowadays I feel tired all the time, so I just try to take a rest on my day off. 
>> However, nowadays I feel tired all the time so I just try to take a rest on my day offs. 

Since I started my work the first time, I gained a lot of weight. 
>> Since I started working, I gained a lot of weight. 

So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from the work and do some workout as much as possible.
>> So, I think I have to find a way to release the stress from work and do some workout as much as possible.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112712 The clear instruction to someone À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-09 662
112711 What are the things you\'re going to do when you retire? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-09 399
112710 Which amongst all the advice of Donald Trump can you live by... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112709 What part of your body or face is your favorite? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 404
112708 What is good about renting something? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 423
112707 How to greet in Korea. ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 984
112706 Who do you think is the best candidate for president in the next... ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 436
112705 Stone is necessary ingredient. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 358
112704 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 397
112703 HOMEWORK: How do you overcome your fears? ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 1
112702 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 636
112701 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 475
112700 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 362
112699 Favorite Magical Adventures Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 466
112698 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 354
112697 How do you think can the delivery services in South Korea be... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 481
112696 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 4
112695 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 481
112694 What kinds of supplements do you not highly recommend? Share... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 495
112693 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-08 433

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04