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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The cello concert

작성자: 김*랑
2021-05-26 546

회원님의 영작문



When I was only 8 years old, I can't remember well, but the one my mother know is a very good cello player. My mom majored in piano, so all the music-related people are my mom's friends. Maybe that's why I'm excel in music. Anyway, at that time, I went to see the cello concert hall with my mom, me, and my younger brother, but when the performance started, a beautiful-looking woman in a red dress grabbed the cello and drew a bow. At that time, I still remembers that feeling, just as soon as she heard her first syllable, she got goosebumps from head to toe, so she couldn't take her eyes off the cello. That's why I started playing the cello, and that was the most impressive concert experience.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Maria!

I agree that you got the musical skills from your mother. I think that she is one of the most excellent players in your country. Well, as intense as the narrative here on your composition is, I can imagine vividly what you have described here. I also have goosebumps when I watch or hear something beyond beautiful and one that exceeds expectations.

I thank you again for a very good composition. See you then!

-T. Donna =)

When I was only 8 years old, I can't remember well, but the one my mother know is a very good cello player. 
>> When I was only 8 years old, I can't remember well, but my mother is one who knows to play cello very well. 

My mom majored in piano, so all the music-related people are my mom's friends. 
>> Correct!

Maybe that's why I'm excel in music. 
>> Maybe that's why I excel in music.

Anyway, at that time, I went to see the cello concert hall with my mom, me, and my younger brother, but when the performance started, a beautiful-looking woman in a red dress grabbed the cello and drew a bow. 
>> Correct!

At that time, I still remembers that feeling, just as soon as she heard her first syllable, she got goosebumps from head to toe, so she couldn't take her eyes off the cello. 
>> At that time, I still remember that feeling. Just as soon as she heard her first syllable, she got goosebumps from head to toe, so she couldn't take her eyes off the cello. 

That's why I started playing the cello, and that was the most impressive concert experience.
>> Correct!
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