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Have you ever been in the hospital for some severe treatment?

작성자: 박*경
2021-05-27 467

회원님의 영작문

Yes, I have. If my memory servers me right, when I was 30 years old, after I finished my work, I had quite a stomachache. At that time, due to heavy workload it was frequent for me. But as time was getting more and more, the pain was being severe. Owing to my friend, I went to ER in my hospital by her car, I was diagnosed appendicitis and then I was operated appendectomy on emergent. Hence, I had to be admitted to the hospital for about 7 days. Because, I had some infections in my suture site. It was one of the horrible experiences in my life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Jane!

It must have been frightening to know that one of your organs have exploded inside your body. Indeed, thanks to your friend who was your guardian angel that time. Well, today, your appendix is gone yet your memories of that day remains. 

Thanks a lot for sharing this story. I hope that this is the first and the last of any major operations in your life.

See you tomorrow in class!

-T. Donna =)

Yes, I have. 
>> Correct!

If my memory servers me right, when I was 30 years old, after I finished my work, I had quite a stomachache. 
>> Correct!
Or: serves

At that time, due to heavy workload it was frequent for me. 
>> At that time, due to a heavy workload it happened frequently. 

But as time was getting more and more, the pain was being severe. 
>> But as time (went by/ passed by), the pain was growing severe (worse). 

Owing to my friend, I went to ER in my hospital by her car, I was diagnosed appendicitis and then I was operated appendectomy on emergent. 
>> Thanks to my friend, I went to the ER in my hospital by her car. I was diagnosed with appendicitis and then I was operated with appendectomy immediately. 

Hence, I had to be admitted to the hospital for about 7 days. Because, I had some infections in my suture site. 
>> Hence, I had to be admitted to the hospital for about 7 day because I had some infection in my suture site. 

It was one of the horrible experiences in my life.
>> Correct!
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