¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-05-31 490

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
When you are stressed, how do you feel physically?

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
And this also affect on my physical things too. I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner. According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health. It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. However stress is no good for us and our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
thank you for always being diligent in submitting your writing. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
>>CORRECT!
And this also affect on my physical things too. 
>>And this also affects my physical state too. 
I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
>>CORRECT!
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner.
>>So if I, along with everyone else, grow fatter, our health will deteriorate. 
According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health.
>>According to many scientists, stress might be harmful for our physical and mental health.
It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
>>It's more harmful to growing children. Stress can affect our growth too. 
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. 
>>Also, if we frown a lot, other people's impression on us will be bad. 
However stress is no good for us and our health.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110197 How do you control your anger? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 2
110196 The reason why °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 553
110195 Friday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 494
110194 home work on July 21 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110193 Nice to meet you, sir! ±è*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 514
110192 What do you think about taking a nap? How about sleeping in? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110191 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 3
110190 Japan medical body conditionally approves womb transplants À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 1
110189 If one song were to describe your life, What song would it be? ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 417
110188 How can you describe your family? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 2
110187 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 467
110186 Thursday homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 421
110185 Are you a spender or a saver of money? Why? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 535
110184 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-21 0
110183 family ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 627
110182 What is the worst kind of pollution in your country? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 2
110181 Writing: How do you respond to customers\' queries about your... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 373
110180 Cut ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 3
110179 Homepoop ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 368
110178 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-20 536

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04