¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-05-31 491

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
When you are stressed, how do you feel physically?

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
And this also affect on my physical things too. I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner. According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health. It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. However stress is no good for us and our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
thank you for always being diligent in submitting your writing. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
>>CORRECT!
And this also affect on my physical things too. 
>>And this also affects my physical state too. 
I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
>>CORRECT!
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner.
>>So if I, along with everyone else, grow fatter, our health will deteriorate. 
According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health.
>>According to many scientists, stress might be harmful for our physical and mental health.
It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
>>It's more harmful to growing children. Stress can affect our growth too. 
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. 
>>Also, if we frown a lot, other people's impression on us will be bad. 
However stress is no good for us and our health.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110138 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 387
110137 home work ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110136 30 page ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 488
110135 Homework🌈 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 444
110134 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated? ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 404
110133 homework ¹é*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 601
110132 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 4
110131 People these days watch TV, films and other programs alone... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 588
110130 Hi~ James~ ^^ ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 2
110129 What do you need to get used to doing now? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 551
110128 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-19 0
110127 Has technology made our lives easier or more complicated?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110126 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 452
110125 When I can\'t asleep. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 3
110124 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 506
110123 Korea Struggles to Contain Coronavirus Surge À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-18 0
110122 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 0
110121 Can you talk about three of your favorite things to eat? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1
110120 Fire and firefighter ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 541
110119 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04