¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-05-31 429

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
When you are stressed, how do you feel physically?

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
And this also affect on my physical things too. I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner. According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health. It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. However stress is no good for us and our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
thank you for always being diligent in submitting your writing. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
>>CORRECT!
And this also affect on my physical things too. 
>>And this also affects my physical state too. 
I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
>>CORRECT!
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner.
>>So if I, along with everyone else, grow fatter, our health will deteriorate. 
According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health.
>>According to many scientists, stress might be harmful for our physical and mental health.
It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
>>It's more harmful to growing children. Stress can affect our growth too. 
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. 
>>Also, if we frown a lot, other people's impression on us will be bad. 
However stress is no good for us and our health.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108741 Are there any hobbies you would like to try? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 1110
108740 homework of monday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 937
108739 ultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 0
108738 How is beauty defined in your culture? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 711
108737 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 5
108736 Do you see yourself being a vegetarian in the future? Why or why... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 526
108735 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 964
108734 Homework 5 / 21 / FRI ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 1029
108733 What would you do if you won the lottery? ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 647
108732 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 540
108731 Fluent in English ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 4
108730 What kind of house or apartment would you like to have? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 746
108729 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 0
108728 If you could only read one more book for your entire life, what... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 503
108727 How is beauty defined in your culture? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 559
108726 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 490
108725 Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 1052
108724 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 0
108723 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 637
108722 Do you think humans will ever be able to stop aging? How? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-21 802

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04