¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¿¬
2021-05-31 503

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK:
When you are stressed, how do you feel physically?

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
And this also affect on my physical things too. I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner. According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health. It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. However stress is no good for us and our health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Claire!
thank you for always being diligent in submitting your writing. See you tomorrow! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

When I'm stressed, my mind is very complicated and annoyed a lot.
>>CORRECT!
And this also affect on my physical things too. 
>>And this also affects my physical state too. 
I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed. Because of this habit, I will be fatter.
>>CORRECT!
So if I grow fat, including everyone, our health will destroyed sooner.
>>So if I, along with everyone else, grow fatter, our health will deteriorate. 
According to many scientists, they says stress might be harmful for our physical, and the brain health.
>>According to many scientists, stress might be harmful for our physical and mental health.
It's more harmless for growing up children. Stress can affect on our growing too.
>>It's more harmful to growing children. Stress can affect our growth too. 
Also, if we frown a lot, than our impressions will look bad. 
>>Also, if we frown a lot, other people's impression on us will be bad. 
However stress is no good for us and our health.
>>CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108039 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 0
108038 What is the best holiday for you? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 3
108037 Reddy and Letty ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1115
108036 What is your favorite artwork? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108035 What\'s the best advice from your parents? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 959
108034 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 732
108033 Someone I admire.. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 678
108032 Can you tell me about someone you admire? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108031 Shinhan Card to call all employees including CEO by name À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108030 Spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 823
108029 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 8
108028 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 798
108027 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 763
108026 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108025 Stressed out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 2
108024 sentence °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 2
108023 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 751
108022 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108021 What do you think about Japan\'s plan to release radioactive... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 0
108020 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04