¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-01 545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put in the effort of study.
But almost beggars and buskers are poor becuase of their environments and accident.
So I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
And I think we have to put in the effort of serving study to the poor.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!

With more people suffering from homelessness, the general public may feel they wish to give cash to those sleeping rough. But some people say that handing over money to beggars "can have fatal consequences".

In terms of buskers, these are entertainers. They are pretty much the same with other entertainers you see on television. If one has entertained you, you can definitely give them money if you can. They did something that can benefit you, which is to entertain you. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
>> I would give money to beggars than buskers. 

Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put in the effort of study.
>> Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put effort in studying. 

But almost beggars and buskers are poor becuase of their environments and accident.
>> Most beggars and buskers are poor because of their environment and accidents.

So I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
>> So I will give money to beggars or buskers.

And I think we have to put in the effort of serving study to the poor. 
>> And I think I will put some efforts in studying the poor.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111872 Who is your favorite athlete? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 474
111871 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why?... ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 450
111870 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 512
111869 please open the pile and revise the passage in the pile~ ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-11 514
111868 9.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 0
111867 My opinion about eating healthy ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 386
111866 . °í*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5
111865 What were your favorite foods growing up? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 403
111864 Hi kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111863 What do you think would your life be when you retired? Explain... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 358
111862 Do you think the emotion of hate will ever disappear from humans? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 390
111861 Fish is the hardest animal to take care ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 399
111860 I\'m happy!~~~~~~ ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 474
111859 Hope and wish > ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 421
111858 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 2
111857 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 563
111856 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 5
111855 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 355
111854 Do you like meeting new people? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 406
111853 53 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-10 402

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04