¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? Explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-01 298

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put in the effort of study.
But almost beggars and buskers are poor becuase of their environments and accident.
So I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
And I think we have to put in the effort of serving study to the poor.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!

With more people suffering from homelessness, the general public may feel they wish to give cash to those sleeping rough. But some people say that handing over money to beggars "can have fatal consequences".

In terms of buskers, these are entertainers. They are pretty much the same with other entertainers you see on television. If one has entertained you, you can definitely give them money if you can. They did something that can benefit you, which is to entertain you. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
>> I would give money to beggars than buskers. 

Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put in the effort of study.
>> Someone may think beggars and buskers are poor because they didn't put effort in studying. 

But almost beggars and buskers are poor becuase of their environments and accident.
>> Most beggars and buskers are poor because of their environment and accidents.

So I rather give money to beggars or buskers.
>> So I will give money to beggars or buskers.

And I think we have to put in the effort of serving study to the poor. 
>> And I think I will put some efforts in studying the poor.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109620 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 287
109619 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 351
109618 Who is the bigger hero? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 291
109617 homework : essay À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 6
109616 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2
109615 The black cat ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 317
109614 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 259
109613 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109612 What\'s the worst food you ever ate in a restaurant? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 1
109611 If you retire in the future, what do you think would your life... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 311
109610 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 372
109609 Home work :) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 301
109608 Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 326
109607 Are these sentences gramatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 3
109606 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 305
109605 : In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless.... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 440
109604 Mourn ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 411
109603 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 291
109602 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 403
109601 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04