¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HM-5

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-01 737

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. 
>>> If I will make my own supercomputer, then I would like to create a supercomputer that would predict the winning number of the lottery.

My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. 
>>> CORRECT

Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111651 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 553
111650 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111649 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 2
111648 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 495
111647 Homework {09/06} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 556
111646 Which one do you prefer, working alone or working with other... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 555
111645 34 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 438
111644 My government ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111643 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111642 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 472
111641 Would you consider living in a retirement home when you\'re... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 1
111640 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 521
111639 n many situations, people who break the law should be warned... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 506
111638 How do you say clearly what\'s on your mind? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 4
111637 Monday\'s diary. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 0
111636 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 432
111635 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 6
111634 Knowing What to Buy ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 415
111633 What is my favorite season ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 503
111632 Do you know of any interesting or unique restaurants in your... ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-06 581

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04