¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HM-5

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-01 664

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. 
>>> If I will make my own supercomputer, then I would like to create a supercomputer that would predict the winning number of the lottery.

My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. 
>>> CORRECT

Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109758 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 344
109757 ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 384
109756 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 459
109755 Do you advise people in Korea to take the Covid vaccine? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109754 How do you think is public transportation going to change in the... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 459
109753 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 630
109752 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 489
109751 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 8
109750 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence with the words below: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109749 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 2
109748 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 565
109747 How are businesses today different from businesses in the past? ä*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 429
109746 Relaxing vacations ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 1
109745 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-01 491
109744 How do you view other culture\'s practice of multiple marriage... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109743 Homework (307) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 538
109742 What do you usually do when riding a train, a subway, or a bus? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 434
109741 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 508
109740 In return ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 2
109739 My plan for July ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-30 545

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04