¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HM-5

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-01 652

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. 
>>> If I will make my own supercomputer, then I would like to create a supercomputer that would predict the winning number of the lottery.

My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. 
>>> CORRECT

Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107716 essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 651
107715 A hard time ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 688
107714 Fill in the blanjs ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1149
107713 Unfortunately, I\'ve never get some chocolate from student... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 662
107712 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 512
107711 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1071
107710 y Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 925
107709 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 702
107708 A cooking class. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 4
107707 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 4
107706 It is better for children if the whole family including aunts,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 480
107705 Do you want to be exceptionally skilled in one area or have a... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 666
107704 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 3
107703 What problems have you had recently? How do you usually resolve... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 790
107702 Some people think that famous people can help international aid... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 700
107701 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1
107700 Have got Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 700
107699 Where\'s the trendiest area in your city? Do you enjoy going... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1
107698 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 606
107697 The early bird catches the early worm ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 880

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04