¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HM-5

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-01 689

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



If I make my own supercomputer, I would like to predict the winning number of the lottery. 
>>> If I will make my own supercomputer, then I would like to create a supercomputer that would predict the winning number of the lottery.

My dream is to become a building owner and live on an unearned income. 
>>> CORRECT

Of course, I will continue to work for self-realization even if I have enough unearned income, but I hope I have enough money for my life and mental comfort.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107494 What are some good party manners? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107493 What benefits other than personal satisfaction could you... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 0
107492 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107491 How well does your country do in international competitions? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107490 Homework📓 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 639
107489 How is adoption viewed in your country? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 691
107488 What springs to mind when you hear the word ¡®adventure¡¯? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 904
107487 Why don`t you work out? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 629
107486 go went gone Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 848
107485 Is home schooling an effective method of education? Why or why... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107484 If can be born again, what kind of life would you like to have... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 1
107483 How do you greet someone you just met? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-14 756
107482 One in three people in Congo suffer from acute hunger, warns... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1
107481 Writing Exercise: Do you prefer digital photography or film... ±è*ä ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 2
107480 Do you think it\'s important to get physical education in... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 757
107479 If I can be born again ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 795
107478 My toy ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 1014
107477 What is the last place would you visit if you could fly? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107476 Refund mail ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 0
107475 Why is it important to greet someone? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-13 806

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04