¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HM

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-04 926

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q. Would you personally consider adoption as an option for the aging population in your country? Explain your answer.

A. If the meaning of "adoption" is adoption from abroad, it should not be done as an ageing policy. because adoption should be a home specific right. If there are some policy for encourage adoption from abroad, some people adopt children for only social gain without love and responsibility. It cause huge misfortune to child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Q. Would you personally consider adoption as an option for the aging population in your country? Explain your answer.

A. If the meaning of "adoption" is adoption from abroad, it should not be done as an ageing policy. because adoption should be a home specific right. 
>>> If the meaning of "adoption" is adoption from abroad, it should not be done as a solution to the aging population because it should be home-specific. 

If there are some policy for encourage adoption from abroad, some people adopt children for only social gain without love and responsibility. 
>>> If there are some policies for encouraging adoption from abroad, then some people adopt children for social gain alone without love and responsibility. 

It cause huge misfortune to child.
>>> In that case, it causes huge misfortune to the child. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111421 Kate!!! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 16
111420 What is the goal of your meeting in Seoul tomorrow? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 7
111419 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-31 394
111418 Will said, \"All the world\'s a stage.\" Is it true? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111417 Which amongst the 10 Finnish innovations do you think is the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111416 Seoul Ranked 25th Safest City in the World À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111415 i\'m tired.................. ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 417
111414 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 456
111413 library of the future ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 410
111412 Do you want your children to have their own cars at this point... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 497
111411 The hardest job: house wife ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 492
111410 21 homework Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 2
111409 8.30 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 1
111408 Homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 6
111407 HOMEWORK: Do you think it\'s disrespectful to argue with your... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 488
111406 ielts task 2 ÀÌ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 561
111405 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 480
111404 Writing task: How does the government in your country help... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 4
111403 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 418
111402 Pet Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-08-30 468

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04