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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What is your definition of risk?

작성자: 황*하
2021-06-04 480

회원님의 영작문

The risk is defined as the chance of loss, expose to dangerous situation and possibility of suffering harm. I think risk also mean another chance because it is proved by our ancestors. There is saying that "there will be chances after risk". People who are successful in their life have been suffering from the difficult situation which were not able to overcome, but they finally get over from their difficulties and then, get sweet results. I have similar experience to take risk in my youth. I had hard time when I was teenager because my father had a car accident and admitted to the hospital for about a year. My father was responsible for our live by earning money but he couldn't go to work although he discharged. He recommended me to get a job once I graduated from the high school but I wanted to go to the university. My parents were not affordable to pay for my entrance fee. However, I told to my parents that I would study more and I would make money after class. It was hard for me but

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seha Hwang, thank you for this. Have a great day!
Jasmin



The risk is defined as the chance of loss, expose to dangerous situation and possibility of suffering harm.
>>Taking risk means the act of doing something that involves danger in order to achieve a goal. 
I think risk also mean another chance because it is proved by our ancestors. There is saying that "there will be chances after risk".
>> Risk is also an opportunity that is proven by a lot of successful people. They say that taking a risk 
 People who are successful in their life have been suffering from the difficult situation which were not able to overcome, but they finally get over from their difficulties and then, get sweet results.
>>People who are successful in life are not afraid to take risk. They know that it will generate new possibilities in life. 
 I have similar experience to take risk in my youth. I had hard time when I was teenager because my father had a car accident and admitted to the hospital for about a year.
>>When I was young, I took a great risk. It was the time when my father had a car accident and he stayed in the hospital for a year.  
My father was responsible for our live by earning money but he couldn't go to work although he discharged.
>>My father was our provider, he works hard to provide all the needs of our family but because of the accident he was not able to work until he was discharged.
 He recommended me to get a job once I graduated from the high school but I wanted to go to the university.
>>He told me that I should get a job once I graduated from high school but I wanted to pursue college. 
 My parents were not affordable to pay for my entrance fee.
>>My parents can't afford to pay for my entrance fee back then. 
 However, I told to my parents that I would study more and I would make money after class.
>>However, I told my parents that I would study hard and find a part time job to provide for my study. 
 It was hard for me but
>>It was hard but worth it. 
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