¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think it\'s good to share photos on social media? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-06-04 580

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s not good to share photos on social media.
because internet forever leave my information. someone will see the photos I share on social media and I think that person might use it badly. so if I want to share photos on social media I think it¡¯s okay to photos that are not my face.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

Posting pictures in social media has been a very common activity for most of us. We share to other people the things that we do and experience everyday. At some point, it is a form of socializing and expression. Although, there should be limits because even the people whom we don't know personally can see our posts. We have to be vigilant and we should think before we click :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think it¡¯s not good to share photos on social media.
>> I think it¡¯s not good to share photos on social media because information that you put there stays forever.

because internet forever leave my information. 
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

someone will see the photos I share on social media and I think that person might use it badly. 
>>someone will see the photos I share on social media and I think that other people might use it badly. 

so if I want to share photos on social media I think it¡¯s okay to photos that are not my face.
>> So if I want to share photos on, I think I will post that ones that don't have my face in it. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
112801 How do you handle naughty children? ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 568
112800 Why is sleep important? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 3
112799 What is your favorite Autumn activity? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 448
112798 10.12 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-13 1
112797 What good advice can you give younger people? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 2
112796 Write about three specific goals you want to achieve this year. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 574
112795 homework Æí*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 838
112794 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 6
112793 Which house can you say is comfortable? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 463
112792 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 473
112791 What do you think is the deadliest disease? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 2
112790 I don\'t want to be a knight ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1024
112789 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 587
112788 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 450
112787 To save the Earth ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 729
112786 0112 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 2
112785 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 1
112784 4 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 487
112783 58 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 537
112782 ¼÷Á¦ ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-12 440

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04