¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather give money to beggars or buskers? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-06-04 475

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it¡¯s okay give money to beggars or buskers.
because buskers receive money by showing their talents to people on the street. and I think it¡¯s okay give money to beggars. because what he started begging on the street is he really very hard. so if I have ability I can help somebody, I help by giving money to beggars or buskers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Won!

With more people suffering from homelessness, the general public may feel they wish to give cash to those sleeping rough. But some people say that handing over money to beggars "can have fatal consequences".

In terms of buskers, these are entertainers. They are pretty much the same with other entertainers you see on television. If one has entertained you, you can definitely give them money if you can. They did something that can benefit you, which is to entertain you. 

PS: Omg, you had a terrible experience. I feel so sorry to hear that :(

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think it¡¯s okay give money to beggars or buskers.
>> CORRECT

because buskers receive money by showing their talents to people on the street. 
>> It's because buskers receive money by showing their talents to the people on the street. 

and I think it¡¯s okay give money to beggars. because what he started begging on the street is he really very hard. \
>> And I also think that giving money to beggars is okay because they in a very hard situation. 

so if I have ability I can help somebody, I help by giving money to beggars or buskers.
>> So If I have the ability to help other people, I would do so by giving money to beggars or buskers. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110577 My thinking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110576 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 251
110575 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 303
110574 More about Telling the time ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 402
110573 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 3
110572 21/08/04 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 267
110571 Time is Money È«*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 7
110570 Homework 3 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110569 Homework 2 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 2
110568 Homework 1 »ç* ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 1
110567 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 345
110566 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 319
110565 I spend a time on online except for sleeping time Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-05 264
110564 Do you think you can also be a feminist? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 1
110563 How do you manage your anger? What do you do? ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 240
110562 Thank you Kate! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 5
110561 do you think the lgbtq should be accepted in our society? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 2
110560 I agree with the saying that time is money. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 0
110559 day 2 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 307
110558 day 1 homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-08-04 229

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04