¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-07 369

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think nowadays, the goverment of South Korea is so much focusing on the education.
In the South Korea, a lot of people including students and parents are so much focusing on the education.
They think study is the only way that we can succeed, and they don't look at different ways.
They think the right way is study, but I think its not true.
Yea, a lot of people who learned and know a lot of knowledge succeeded very easly.
But they know only important knowledge, and they succeded, but we are trying to study more.
We need just few knowledge, not the all knowledge that human knows.
So I think goverment of South Korea has to focus to the education that study is not the all of our entire life.
If it does it, a lot of people will get a lot of jobs, and the economy of the South Korea will be improved.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John!

Governments in emerging economies have, over the decades, tried many different policy agendas to stimulate development, accelerate growth, alleviate poverty, and achieve any number of other goals to mixed success. Nowadays, the urgent problem is regarding the pandemic. They work really hard on how to improve their country and their people as well. Your ideas are great. Thanks for sharing. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think nowadays, the goverment of South Korea is so much focusing on the education.
>> I think nowadays, the government of South Korea should focus more on education.

In the South Korea, a lot of people including students and parents are so much focusing on the education.
>> In South Korea, there are a lot of families focusing on education. 

They think study is the only way that we can succeed, and they don't look at different ways.
>> They think that education is the only way a person can be successful and there's no other way. 

They think the right way is study, but I think its not true.
>> They think the right way is to study, but I think it's not true.

Yea, a lot of people who learned and know a lot of knowledge succeeded very easly.
>> Indeed, there are a lot of people who become successful because they studied really hard. 

But they know only important knowledge, and they succeded, but we are trying to study more.
>> They think that success depends on a person's knowledge that's why we need to study more. 

We need just few knowledge, not the all knowledge that human knows.
>> We just need to know a few things not everything. 

So I think goverment of South Korea has to focus to the education that study is not the all of our entire life.
>> I think that the government of South Korea should change the stereotype education should not be the only thing we have to depend on when it comes to success. 

If it does it, a lot of people will get a lot of jobs, and the economy of the South Korea will be improved.
>> If this happens, a lot of people will get jobs and the economy of South Korea will improve. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110307 Failure is the mother of success. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-27 339
110306 Which one do you think is better, working in Korea or working in... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 315
110305 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 331
110304 HOMEWORK ±Ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 301
110303 What do you think is the color for happiness? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 0
110302 to work in other country ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 379
110301 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 242
110300 holiday ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 387
110299 Weightlifting in Tokyo Olympics ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 329
110298 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 254
110297 living on the beach. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 321
110296 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110295 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 220
110294 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110293 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 368
110292 I think offline class is more benefit to me*^^* ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 335
110291 Homework {07/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 333
110290 If you can make your own holiday, what would it be? When should... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 427
110289 My goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 1
110288 What is your favorite celebration? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-26 257

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04