¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼º
2021-06-07 368

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on?

I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Homer!

Governments in emerging economies have, over the decades, tried many different policy agendas to stimulate development, accelerate growth, alleviate poverty, and achieve any number of other goals to mixed success. Nowadays, the urgent problem is regarding the pandemic. They work really hard on how to improve their country and their people as well. Your ideas are great. Thanks for sharing. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.


I think the Korean government should reduce wasted financial amount of welfare. 
>> I think the Korean government should reduce financial waste on welfare. 

There are lots of policies to support underprivileged people. 
>> CORRECT

However, since the criteria of selecting applicants, is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite they don't really need to get help. 
>> However, since the criteria of selecting applicants is not very precise, unnecessary people are exploiting those policies despite the fact that they don't need any help. 

So, I hope the Korean government set and check more specifically before conducting welfare policies.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108875 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 611
108874 If you could change your name, what would you change it to? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 539
108873 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 0
108872 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 0
108871 The best day of the week ÁÖ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108870 The cello concert ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 525
108869 Which natural disaster do you fear most and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108868 My experience in traffic jam. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108867 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108866 . think ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 588
108865 Homework {05/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 511
108864 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 530
108863 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 519
108862 1st homework JB ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 481
108861 Unusual food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 470
108860 Actors and actresses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108859 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 532
108858 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108857 If you can sell anything from your valuable things, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108856 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04