¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*¹ü
2021-06-07 453

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think violent games and toys should not be allowed

Because I have a son, it matters to me, too.

I guess children who play violent games might become violent adults.

So parents should be watching weather their children play violent games.

But parents cannot be with their children all day, making a rule can be for the best.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Chris.
Thank you for this! ^^
See you tomorrow~

- T. Rina


1. I think violent games and toys should not be allowed
>> CORRECT!

2. Because I have a son, it matters to me, too.
>> CORRECT!

3. I guess children who play violent games might become violent adults.
>> CORRECT!

4. So parents should be watching weather their children play violent games.
>> So parents should be watching whether their children play violent games or not.

5. But parents cannot be with their children all day, making a rule can be for the best.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110933 Fall ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 555
110932 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110931 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 3
110930 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 5
110929 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 2
110928 I enjoyed to learn an english Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 454
110927 My favorite place is... ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-17 7
110926 Do you agree with the idea of less consideration about the... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110925 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 379
110924 What is the most useful thing that you own and why? ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 333
110923 What kind of device should be invented in order for our lives to... ÁÖ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 370
110922 Do you think going to different academies is important for... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 470
110921 Writing task: Are there any values that your parents tried to... Á¶*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110920 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110919 Fila and Nike is so Pretty!!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 431
110918 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 398
110917 What is your idea of a perfect vacation? Kindly explain it. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110916 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 403
110915 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 302
110914 What do yo think should be changed in your city and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04