¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¿ø
2021-06-09 353

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q.What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
second, i can effectively use my time. for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yeo Won,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Q. What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. 
>>> First, I work on weekends so that I  can get more money. In fact, I work on Saturdays so I feel so tired. 

although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. 
>>> Although I receive a lot of money, I want to relax on weekends. 

i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
>>> I think the balance between working and relaxing is more important for me but I cannot do it.

second, i can effectively use my time. 
>>> Second, I can effectively make use of my time, I'm productive even on weekends. 

for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.
>>> For example, if I take a rest on weekends then I would wake up late. 

but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.
>>> But because I work on Saturdays, I wake up early and do more things productively. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109338 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 1
109337 Have you ever suffered from insomnia? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 2
109336 What kind of business do want to set up? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-14 245
109335 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 1
109334 South Korea confirms 5 more breakthrough infections, total now... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 1
109333 Do you think that a person\'s eating habits affect how long they... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 5
109332 what is your favorite food, why? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 3
109331 Do you want to change your skin color? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 306
109330 Love À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 297
109329 What social activity with other people except your family do you... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-13 245
109328 The safest of transport ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 281
109327 Is there a kind of sport that you would like to try? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 3
109326 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 357
109325 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 289
109324 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 302
109323 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 330
109322 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 358
109321 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-12 292
109320 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 327
109319 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04