¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¿ø
2021-06-09 497

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q.What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
second, i can effectively use my time. for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yeo Won,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Q. What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. 
>>> First, I work on weekends so that I  can get more money. In fact, I work on Saturdays so I feel so tired. 

although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. 
>>> Although I receive a lot of money, I want to relax on weekends. 

i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
>>> I think the balance between working and relaxing is more important for me but I cannot do it.

second, i can effectively use my time. 
>>> Second, I can effectively make use of my time, I'm productive even on weekends. 

for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.
>>> For example, if I take a rest on weekends then I would wake up late. 

but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.
>>> But because I work on Saturdays, I wake up early and do more things productively. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109893 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 444
109892 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 403
109891 Facility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 3
109890 Thursday diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109889 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 405
109888 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109887 How would you want to spend a long holiday? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 400
109886 conversation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 310
109885 What is the beginning of conversation? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 490
109884 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 500
109883 What illegal trade does your country have? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109882 What kind of support should children give their aging parents? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 505
109881 homework on July 7 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 2
109880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109879 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 0
109878 What one thing do you want to change about yourself? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 479
109877 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 493
109876 Homrwork ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 493
109875 HeforShe Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 351
109874 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 629

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04