¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¿ø
2021-06-09 451

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q.What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
second, i can effectively use my time. for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yeo Won,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Q. What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. 
>>> First, I work on weekends so that I  can get more money. In fact, I work on Saturdays so I feel so tired. 

although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. 
>>> Although I receive a lot of money, I want to relax on weekends. 

i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
>>> I think the balance between working and relaxing is more important for me but I cannot do it.

second, i can effectively use my time. 
>>> Second, I can effectively make use of my time, I'm productive even on weekends. 

for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.
>>> For example, if I take a rest on weekends then I would wake up late. 

but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.
>>> But because I work on Saturdays, I wake up early and do more things productively. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108380 Famous park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 684
108379 If you could buy only one of these two things, would you choose... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 3
108378 What other ways could you think of to greet people? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 698
108377 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 585
108376 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 611
108375 What was the best scenery you have ever seen? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 850
108374 If you will go on a trip to Mars what is 1 thing you must bring? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 720
108373 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108372 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 600
108371 Tell something interesting about my city ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 496
108370 Today\'s homework Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 649
108369 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 4
108368 when was the last time you were sick? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 662
108367 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108366 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 487
108365 Can we say the Internet makes the news world better? Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 558
108364 interview Q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 0
108363 homework_21.05.06 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 1
108362 What do you do after when you argue with someone? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2
108361 How did your parents raise you? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04