¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àü*¿ø
2021-06-09 521

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q.What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
second, i can effectively use my time. for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Yeo Won,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Q. What are the possible benefits of working on weekends?


first, if i work on weekends, i could get more money. in fact, i work on saturday. it is very tired. 
>>> First, I work on weekends so that I  can get more money. In fact, I work on Saturdays so I feel so tired. 

although i get more money, i wanna relax on weekends. 
>>> Although I receive a lot of money, I want to relax on weekends. 

i think the balance of working and relex is more important for me.
>>> I think the balance between working and relaxing is more important for me but I cannot do it.

second, i can effectively use my time. 
>>> Second, I can effectively make use of my time, I'm productive even on weekends. 

for example, if i take a rest on weekends, i would wake up lately.
>>> For example, if I take a rest on weekends then I would wake up late. 

but, because i work on saturday, i wake up early, and do more things.
>>> But because I work on Saturdays, I wake up early and do more things productively. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108862 1st homework JB ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 507
108861 Unusual food. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 488
108860 Actors and actresses ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108859 Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 590
108858 What are some of your bad habits and how do you think are you... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108857 If you can sell anything from your valuable things, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 2
108856 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 3
108855 Number of foreigners in Korea slides to 50-month low À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108854 How do you usually cope with stress? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108853 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108852 Tell me about a strange dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 0
108851 Home work(5.26) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 546
108850 Home work(5.24) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 567
108849 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 521
108848 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 601
108847 Home work ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-26 1
108846 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 497
108845 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 619
108844 Homework (290) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 562
108843 If you can sell anything from your valuable things, what would... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 488

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04