¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that individuals are becoming more and more dependent on each other, where as ot

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-06-14 419

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are becoming more dependent but they feel lonely. The family have became smaller than before and there are more people who are not planning to get married. Many people prefer to live alone because they don't want to be bothered by children and a partner. So, people have learnt cooking, cleaning and doing laundry by themselves. This is positive aspects because they can do anything without parents. However, there are a lot of free time and they don't know what they have to do, especially on weekends. Although, there are a lot of online clubs which are gathered the same interests, we can't enjoy it fully when we have joined there because members in the clubs are not their family and friends who have been known for a long time. I guess that human would like to have close people such as family ultimately.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's so gloomy here. I have blues now. Anyway, I'm still awesome! Hahaha! How's your day going? Tell me tomorrow! :D See you!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that people are becoming more independent but they feel lonely. 
>>> CORRECT
The family have became smaller than before and there are more people who are not planning to get married.
>>> CORRECT
Many people prefer to live alone because they don't want to be bothered by children and their partner.
>>> CORRECT
 So, people have learnt cooking, cleaning and doing laundry by themselves.
>>> CORRECT
 This is positive aspects because they can do anything without parents.
>>>  These are positive aspects because they can do anything without their parents.
 However, there are a lot of free time and they don't know what they have to do, especially on weekends. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, there are a lot of online clubs which are gathered the same interests, we can't enjoy it fully when we have joined there because members in the clubs are not their family and friends who have been known for a long time.
>>> Although, there are a lot of online clubs which gather the same interests. We can't enjoy it fully when we join on it because members in the clubs are not family members and friends who they have known for a long time.
 I guess that human would like to have close people such as family ultimately.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109289 Hi, Sharon. È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109288 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 385
109287 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109286 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109285 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 380
109284 I like the citrus scent the most! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 425
109283 The extreme weather conditions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109282 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 445
109281 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 405
109280 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 426
109279 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 424
109278 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 383
109277 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 370
109276 What have made you look pale? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 426
109275 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109274 How to love my family. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 430
109273 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 503
109272 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 361
109271 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 1
109270 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 470

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04