¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that individuals are becoming more and more dependent on each other, where as ot

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-06-14 424

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are becoming more dependent but they feel lonely. The family have became smaller than before and there are more people who are not planning to get married. Many people prefer to live alone because they don't want to be bothered by children and a partner. So, people have learnt cooking, cleaning and doing laundry by themselves. This is positive aspects because they can do anything without parents. However, there are a lot of free time and they don't know what they have to do, especially on weekends. Although, there are a lot of online clubs which are gathered the same interests, we can't enjoy it fully when we have joined there because members in the clubs are not their family and friends who have been known for a long time. I guess that human would like to have close people such as family ultimately.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ It's so gloomy here. I have blues now. Anyway, I'm still awesome! Hahaha! How's your day going? Tell me tomorrow! :D See you!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think that people are becoming more independent but they feel lonely. 
>>> CORRECT
The family have became smaller than before and there are more people who are not planning to get married.
>>> CORRECT
Many people prefer to live alone because they don't want to be bothered by children and their partner.
>>> CORRECT
 So, people have learnt cooking, cleaning and doing laundry by themselves.
>>> CORRECT
 This is positive aspects because they can do anything without parents.
>>>  These are positive aspects because they can do anything without their parents.
 However, there are a lot of free time and they don't know what they have to do, especially on weekends. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, there are a lot of online clubs which are gathered the same interests, we can't enjoy it fully when we have joined there because members in the clubs are not their family and friends who have been known for a long time.
>>> Although, there are a lot of online clubs which gather the same interests. We can't enjoy it fully when we join on it because members in the clubs are not family members and friends who they have known for a long time.
 I guess that human would like to have close people such as family ultimately.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109222 my new custmer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 345
109221 Are you good listener? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 428
109220 A failure what has made me more better. ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-09 432
109219 What technology are you fascinated about if not cars and motors? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109218 The holidays should have be more, or less? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 441
109217 Key figure behind sex abuse ring appeals sentence to Supreme... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109216 Homework (300) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 409
109215 Are there any countries you could never see yourself living in? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 366
109214 What problems do fire causes in today\'s world? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109213 [06/02] ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109212 Any countries ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 3
109211 Yes! the goals can change your life! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 461
109210 spicy food. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 440
109209 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 394
109208 Are the drinking and driving laws in your country too strict?... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109207 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 605
109206 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 499
109205 Is voting an important responsibility of a citizen? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 1
109204 What do you think should the government of South Korea focus on? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 380
109203 Who are the 3 people in your life that you can\'t live without? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-08 416

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04