¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think change is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-14 560

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the only change is good, but I think too much fast change is not a good thing.
Change is obvious thing that all of creatures have.
We have to change becuase the world s changing, and also we have to change because our environment is changing.
But we, humans are changing so fast because of developement of science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the only change is good, but I think too much fast change is not a good thing.
>> I think that change is good but too much change isn't.

Change is obvious thing that all of creatures have.
>> Change is an obvious thing that happens to everyone. 

We have to change becuase the world s changing, and also we have to change because our environment is changing.
>> We have to change because the world is changing as well. And also. we have to adapt to the changing environment. 

But we, humans are changing so fast because of developement of science.
>> But humans are changing a lot of things as well because of the development of Science. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111729 If you could change any aspect of your personality, what would... ¹Ú*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 467
111728 What do you think will make man go extinct? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111727 special gift ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-08 5
111726 If I will visit your city, what restaurant would you recommend... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 618
111725 Thank you! ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 3
111724 Thank you teacher:) ¿ì*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111723 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 637
111722 What do you usually do to celebrate birthdays in your family? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 492
111721 How can you deal with someone who speaks so fast in giving... À¯*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 445
111720 meaning of Korean flag ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 494
111719 What do you like about your neighborhood? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 469
111718 Make sentences using given words ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 1
111717 Homework ³²*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 380
111716 Writing a book ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 434
111715 what is your favorite subject at school ? why ? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 481
111714 Shine muscat was best sweet fruit i have ate Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 550
111713 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 558
111712 [HOMEWORK] Why do people get upset? Kindly answer in not more... Á¶*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111711 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 424
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04