¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think change is good? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-14 502

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the only change is good, but I think too much fast change is not a good thing.
Change is obvious thing that all of creatures have.
We have to change becuase the world s changing, and also we have to change because our environment is changing.
But we, humans are changing so fast because of developement of science.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think the only change is good, but I think too much fast change is not a good thing.
>> I think that change is good but too much change isn't.

Change is obvious thing that all of creatures have.
>> Change is an obvious thing that happens to everyone. 

We have to change becuase the world s changing, and also we have to change because our environment is changing.
>> We have to change because the world is changing as well. And also. we have to adapt to the changing environment. 

But we, humans are changing so fast because of developement of science.
>> But humans are changing a lot of things as well because of the development of Science. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108484 Happy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108483 What is your best memory in school and why? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 578
108482 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 751
108481 What is your favorite month and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 2
108480 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 505
108479 A walk in the clouds, 1995 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 671
108478 Like carictor ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 561
108477 I know fortune teller, also know what they do. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 918
108476 Who is your all-time favorite sportsperson? Why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 667
108475 Work1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 586
108474 Tell me about your father\'s hobbies. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 636
108473 Do you think that food defines a culture? If so, how? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 3
108472 What is your best memory in school and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 672
108471 Homework~~~~~~~~~!!!!! ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 604
108470 5.13.THU ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 593
108469 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 684
108468 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 3
108467 What was a good decision you made? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108466 What is your best memory in school and why? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 0
108465 My decision ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 573

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04