¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What would you say is the best thing about getting older? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-06-15 312

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think looking the world more maturely is the best thing about getting older.
We can experience something, and if we are older than before, we can experience things more.
If we experience the things that are in this world, we can think more about this world,
and finally, we can think something more maturely.
So I think the best thing about getting older is looking the world matyrely.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! ^^

There are some people who would want to stay young but some don't. Sometimes the best part of being a grown up is actually just that: being an adult. It's the personal and financial success that comes from maturity, the freedom of adulthood, the respect you get from your peers and the joy of working hard to play hard

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think looking the world more maturely is the best thing about getting older.
>>I think looking at the world more maturely is the best thing about getting older.

We can experience something, and if we are older than before, we can experience things more.
>> We can experience a lot of things and we can gain more as well. 

If we experience the things that are in this world, we can think more about this world,
and finally, we can think something more maturely.
>> If we experience a lot of things, we can think more critically and more maturely. 

So I think the best thing about getting older is looking the world matyrely.
>>So I think the best thing about getting older is looking at the world more maturely. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109510 6/18 homework ³ª*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 268
109509 [6/17]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 1
109508 If you had 100 million dollars, how will you spend it in 3 days? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 2
109507 Yes? Maybe...? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 221
109506 [6/14]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 2
109505 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 284
109504 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 278
109503 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 225
109502 There are some hobbies that are quite questionable or illegal,... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 279
109501 How many seasons are there in your country? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 281
109500 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-20 250
109499 Are you cooking shows popular in your country? Do you watch any... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 2
109498 what is the best thing about camping? how about the worst thing? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 2
109497 Do you think the use of cars will increase or decrease in the... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109496 How can you become happy again when you are sad? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 2
109495 [6/11]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109494 How much do young people your age care about their fitness? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 427
109493 [6/9]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 1
109492 [6/8]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 0
109491 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-19 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04