¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing of our country

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-06-16 269

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores,
around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. So,
it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Jin!
This is a simple expression of your ideas.
However, you did a great job!
I hope you can continue working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
>> First, our country has many beautiful mountains, long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores, around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. 
>> There are active and busy places where people could walk around like Myeongdong street and Dongdeamun market in Seoul.
So, it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan
>> We also have a wonderful sea port, cheap fish market, and our biggest export point is in Busan. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109300 What can you do best? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 289
109299 What would you say is the best thing about getting older? Why? ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 327
109298 Why do people travel? °­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 1
109297 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 434
109296 How do you show your respect for other people? ¿À*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-06-11 333
109295 homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 302
109294 Does China have good policies for its people? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 2
109293 Homework (302) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 323
109292 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 313
109291 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 312
109290 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 301
109289 Hi, Sharon. È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 0
109288 Should parents be held responsible for their children\'s... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 326
109287 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109286 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109285 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 258
109284 I like the citrus scent the most! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 285
109283 The extreme weather conditions ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 4
109282 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 308
109281 Plan to expand substitute holiday system gaining traction ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-10 307

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04