¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing of our country

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-06-16 483

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores,
around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. So,
it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Jin!
This is a simple expression of your ideas.
However, you did a great job!
I hope you can continue working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
>> First, our country has many beautiful mountains, long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores, around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. 
>> There are active and busy places where people could walk around like Myeongdong street and Dongdeamun market in Seoul.
So, it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan
>> We also have a wonderful sea port, cheap fish market, and our biggest export point is in Busan. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108652 What does a person\'s age tell us? What do we know about a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 673
108651 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1
108650 Do you think sending your loved ones to nursing homes is a kind... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 622
108649 If public transportation were free, would you use it more? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1
108648 Home work(5.17) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 770
108647 What do you think of space tourism? ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 620
108646 Today\'s homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 600
108645 Seoul mulls drinking ban along Han River À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1
108644 Tired of waiting, some Koreans mull COVID-19 shot trip to the US À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1
108643 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 701
108642 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1164
108641 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-19 1041
108640 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 590
108639 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 582
108638 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 556
108637 What was your first impression about your boyfriend? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1
108636 Homework (285) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 751
108635 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... Ȳ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1177
108634 The source of my energy ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 628
108633 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04