¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best thing of our country

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À¯*Áø
2021-06-16 506

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores,
around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. So,
it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Jin!
This is a simple expression of your ideas.
However, you did a great job!
I hope you can continue working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
At first, our county has many beautiful mountains , long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
>> First, our country has many beautiful mountains, long rivers and distinctive four seasons.
There are very active walking people that it has the famous department stores, around the Meayng Dong streets and the Dongdaemoon Market n Seoul. 
>> There are active and busy places where people could walk around like Myeongdong street and Dongdeamun market in Seoul.
So, it has a wonderful sea port, cheaper fish market and the biggest one of our country's export port in Pusan
>> We also have a wonderful sea port, cheap fish market, and our biggest export point is in Busan. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108344 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108343 Why do wear shous? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 762
108342 How did your parents raise you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 689
108341 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 696
108340 late flight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2
108339 Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 695
108338 What do you and your family like to do together ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 632
108337 Homework 5.10 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 760
108336 Do you like making friends with other people? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 643
108335 How life was in Seoul during your studies in Medical School. ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 651
108334 How did your parents raise you? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 2
108333 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108332 question ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 788
108331 Writing task ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 634
108330 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 723
108329 How did your parents raise you? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 0
108328 continue.. 2-2 ÃÖ*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 720
108327 Should all the university students study subjects such as... ÃÖ*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1
108326 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 718
108325 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04