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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think that appearance is so important?

작성자: 최*수
2021-06-16 407

회원님의 영작문

Having good appearance is so important because we usually judge people by looking one's appearance.
When we have an important meeting, having good appearance gives us nice first-impression.
Also, there are situations we have to dress up as a manner like funeral.
However, I think there must be something more important than appearance.
First, even though appearance gave us a lot of hint for someone, that is just what we see on peoples' surface. It is hard to define one's personality, thoughts, lifestyle just by looking appearance. When we make a strong relationship, it based on the things that sharing the same interests, opinions rather than appearance.
Also, we can easily deceive others with good appearances. For example, many women today have two faces with make up and no-make up. Interestingly, people judges a person differently when she did make up or not, even though it was the same person.
In this perspective, I think we never get to know a person just looking appearance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Hae Su! It's wonderful to see you here on the composition site once again.

Undeniably, we have to be presentable in facing a lot of people specially before the pandemic. Perhaps soon, when COVID 19 is over, we have to be back there again and look good in front of various people who will judge us by the brand of clothes, shoes,  bags, and accessories that we wear or even the car that we drive.  Those who are more concerned on these things about us are the ones we would never have a life long relationship with.

As we already know, our family and friends who have seen our worst appearance still care about us until today.

Thank you so much for this composition! See you again soon!

-T. Donna =) 

Having good appearance is so important because we usually judge people by looking one's appearance.
>> ... by looking at one's appearance.

When we have an important meeting, having good appearance gives us nice first-impression.
>> Correct!

Also, there are situations we have to dress up as a manner like funeral.
>> Also, there are situations when we have to dress up as a good manner like in a funeral.

However, I think there must be something more important than appearance.
>> Correct!

First, even though appearance gave us a lot of hint for someone, that is just what we see on peoples' surface. 
>> First, even though appearance gives us a lot of hint about someone, that is just what we see on peoples' surface. 

It is hard to define one's personality, thoughts, lifestyle just by looking appearance. 
>> It is hard to define one's personality, thoughts, and lifestyle just by looking at appearance. 

When we make a strong relationship, it based on the things that sharing the same interests, opinions rather than appearance.
>> When we make a strong relationship, it is based on the things such as sharing the same interests and opinions rather than appearance.

Also, we can easily deceive others with good appearances. 
>> Correct!

For example, many women today have two faces with make up and no-make up. 
>> Correct!

Interestingly, people judges a person differently when she did make up or not, even though it was the same person.
>> Interestingly, people judge a person differently when she did make up or not, even though it was the same person.

In this perspective, I think we never get to know a person just looking appearance.
>> In this perspective, I think we never get to know a person just looking at an appearance.
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