¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¹Î
2021-06-16 545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My city is really peaceful. Even though some earthquaqes happened in korea. My city wasnt effected that much. And it is located in the middle of korea so, we can go everywhere in shorter time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Lucy! ^^

That sound fascinating! It sounds so convenient to live in your city. Maybe I can go to your city some day and experience that too. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

My city is really peaceful. 
>> CORRECT

Even though some earthquaqes happened in korea. 
>> Even though there were some earthquakes that happened here in Korea, our city is not affected that much. 

My city wasnt effected that much. 
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

And it is located in the middle of korea so, we can go everywhere in shorter time.
>> My city is also located in the middle of Korea so we can go everywhere within a shorter time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
111711 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 424
111710 9.7 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111709 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 494
111708 If you can go on a trip with your family, where would it be and... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 597
111707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 441
111706 plum ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 723
111705 Do you prefer your own country\'s food or other kinds of food? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111704 Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 364
111703 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 519
111702 Do you like asking a lot of questions? Is it actually good to... Ȳ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 4
111701 0907 _ yejin ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111700 38 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 423
111699 Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 467
111698 Have you been a racist in one way or another? Share your answer... Á¤*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 566
111697 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 493
111696 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 556
111695 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 571
111694 Visiting Someone At the Hospital ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 516
111693 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2
111692 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-09-07 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04