¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-06-17 280

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Won! ^^

That's true! There's actually a saying that "You should drink responsibly". People should not drink too much and use it as an excuse when they commit crimes. I hope this law will be removed as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. 
>> I think the rule about reducing the sentence of drunk criminals should be removed. 

because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.
>> It's because I don't know why it should be reduces since they are the ones who can't control themselves. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109713 English Riddle!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 232
109712 hate feeling ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 245
109711 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 222
109710 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 374
109709 How do you improve your interpersonal skill? Explain. ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109708 Which one do you think is better, buying things in the mall or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 0
109707 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 238
109706 What\'s the most delicious fruit in your opinion? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109705 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 219
109704 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 301
109703 How do you think can the rich countries help the poor countries? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 307
109702 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 308
109701 Do you have a sleeping disorder? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 275
109700 homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 230
109699 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 2
109698 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 2
109697 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109696 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1
109695 What weird things in one¡¯s bucket list have you heard of? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 0
109694 If you could change one thing about your culture, what would it... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04