¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-06-17 321

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Won! ^^

That's true! There's actually a saying that "You should drink responsibly". People should not drink too much and use it as an excuse when they commit crimes. I hope this law will be removed as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. 
>> I think the rule about reducing the sentence of drunk criminals should be removed. 

because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.
>> It's because I don't know why it should be reduces since they are the ones who can't control themselves. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109083 Are these grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 341
109082 Color Black and Associating with À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 359
109081 210603 Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 2
109080 210602 Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 1
109079 writing check up ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 3
109078 writing check up ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 4
109077 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 3
109076 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 340
109075 Write about three things you appreciate in your life and why you... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 0
109074 Why do you think watching television can be bad? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 818
109073 Thank you! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 4
109072 today our class, there is the story i wanna talk you/homework Àü*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-03 386
109071 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 314
109070 HM6 ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 340
109069 What do you do when you are being bullied? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 5
109068 What is an ideal working environment? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 2
109067 What are some of your good habits? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 380
109066 You have been a very competent worker but how long do you want... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 503
109065 HOMEWORK : Where do you live? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 1
109064 A meat ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-02 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04