¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What Korean policy/law do you think should be removed?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ø
2021-06-17 442

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi  Won! ^^

That's true! There's actually a saying that "You should drink responsibly". People should not drink too much and use it as an excuse when they commit crimes. I hope this law will be removed as well. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

I think should be removed korean law that if criminal drink alcoholic reduce sentence. 
>> I think the rule about reducing the sentence of drunk criminals should be removed. 

because I don¡¯t understand why reduced sentence what criminal don¡¯t control yourself.
>> It's because I don't know why it should be reduces since they are the ones who can't control themselves. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108553 How long do you think couples should know each other before they... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 3
108552 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 756
108551 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 804
108550 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 1378
108549 Live ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 3
108548 Online Videos Ruining Kids\' reading Comprehension À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-16 1
108547 What\'s the best memory you have from your childhood? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 1146
108546 School Performance Assessment 5-2 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 7
108545 School Performance Assessment 5-1 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 4
108544 What will you do if you have a free schedule? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 1157
108543 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 0
108542 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 2
108541 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 1
108540 SOP 4 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 1
108539 HOMEWORK ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-15 1274
108538 Homework ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 643
108537 Homer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 732
108536 Homer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 621
108535 Homer ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 745
108534 Amongst the 10 listed pet peeves from our next topic, which one... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04