¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you currently raising a pet? If not, have you ever thought of raising one? In your opinion, when

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-17 345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m currently not raising a pet because my brother is allergic to fur. However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in an elementary school. It was fine to raise them since hamsters lived in their cages. As this experience, I want to raise hamster again. Furthermore, if I¡¯m available for raising a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced.
I think the perfect way to get pets is finding them at abandoned dogs¡¯ shelter. I heard that the more people buy pets at pet shops, the more producers make pets. Pets become tools to earn money. Moreover, people think the lives of animals are not precious. Therefore, adopting at pet shops will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

I¡¯m currently not raising a pet because my brother is allergic to fur. 
>>> correct   
However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in an elementary school. 
>>> However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in elementary.    
It was fine to raise them since hamsters lived in their cages. 
>>> correct   
As this experience, I want to raise hamster again. 
>>> OR: Due to this experience, I want to raise hamsters again.   
Furthermore, if I¡¯m available for raising a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced.
>>> OR: Furthermore, if I could possibly raise a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced it.   
I think the perfect way to get pets is finding them at abandoned dogs¡¯ shelter. 
>>> correct    
I heard that the more people buy pets at pet shops, the more producers make pets. 
>>> correct   
Pets become tools to earn money. 
>>> correct    
Moreover, people think the lives of animals are not precious. 
>>> correct   
Therefore, adopting at pet shops will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.
>>>  Therefore, adopting at pet shelters will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.  

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110898 home work on Aug 13 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110897 Homework Àü*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 225
110896 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 4
110895 home work on Aug 16 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 1
110894 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 1
110893 Thunberg calls out climate impact of fashion brands in Vogue... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 1
110892 Daily Coronavirus Infectoins Surpass 2000 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 2
110891 What do you like/hate most about school reunions? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 309
110890 Are you comfortable wearing a dress? ¼Û*¾È ¿Ï·á 2021-08-16 0
110889 Covid-19 ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 2
110888 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 249
110887 Home work ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 349
110886 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 363
110885 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 331
110884 Tradition ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 1
110883 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÇÏ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 257
110882 Name three countries you will never visit and why? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-15 395
110881 Page 34 ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 227
110880 Does color affect your emotions? ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 294
110879 If it was your birthday, what gift do you want to receive and... ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-08-14 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04