¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are you currently raising a pet? If not, have you ever thought of raising one? In your opinion, when

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-17 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m currently not raising a pet because my brother is allergic to fur. However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in an elementary school. It was fine to raise them since hamsters lived in their cages. As this experience, I want to raise hamster again. Furthermore, if I¡¯m available for raising a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced.
I think the perfect way to get pets is finding them at abandoned dogs¡¯ shelter. I heard that the more people buy pets at pet shops, the more producers make pets. Pets become tools to earn money. Moreover, people think the lives of animals are not precious. Therefore, adopting at pet shops will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ria!

I¡¯m currently not raising a pet because my brother is allergic to fur. 
>>> correct   
However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in an elementary school. 
>>> However, I¡¯ve raised hamsters when I was in elementary.    
It was fine to raise them since hamsters lived in their cages. 
>>> correct   
As this experience, I want to raise hamster again. 
>>> OR: Due to this experience, I want to raise hamsters again.   
Furthermore, if I¡¯m available for raising a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced.
>>> OR: Furthermore, if I could possibly raise a pet, I want to raise a dog or cat because I¡¯ve never experienced it.   
I think the perfect way to get pets is finding them at abandoned dogs¡¯ shelter. 
>>> correct    
I heard that the more people buy pets at pet shops, the more producers make pets. 
>>> correct   
Pets become tools to earn money. 
>>> correct    
Moreover, people think the lives of animals are not precious. 
>>> correct   
Therefore, adopting at pet shops will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.
>>>  Therefore, adopting at pet shelters will help poor animals and cut the bad thought which regards pets as dolls.  

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108636 Homework (285) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 801
108635 Do you think the past was better than the present? Why or why... Ȳ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1196
108634 The source of my energy ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 665
108633 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1
108632 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 2
108631 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 645
108630 How are you the same and different with your brother? ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1119
108629 Do you usually watch movies at the theater or watch them at... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 589
108628 How is beauty defined in your culture? ÃÖ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 2
108627 Answar ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1182
108626 Horror movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 2
108625 How would you describe yourself to someone who hasn¡¯t met you? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 0
108624 What are the things that people don\'t usually know about you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 667
108623 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1379
108622 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 3
108621 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1007
108620 Homework 5 / 14 / FRI ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 713
108619 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 4
108618 Homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 1028
108617 Home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-18 688

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04