¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-18 311

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. It makes diffrences of start line. However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)




Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
>>> Of course, I believe that studying in an international school and English kindergarten makes children better than those who went to normal school in terms of English.

Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. 
>>> Usually an international school and English kindergarten's tuition is more expensive than a normal school. 

So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. 
>>> So, it's expected to have a high-quality education circumstance and support. 

It makes diffrences of start line. 
>>> It makes the differences of the starting line in English acquisition. 

However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. 
>>> However I think that the government must not ban that education because it is foolish to pursue dumbing down for equality. 

The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
110115 Homework (309) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 313
110114 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 251
110113 Homework ¿ì*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 285
110112 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110111 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 271
110110 Sorry plz make it skipped ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 301
110109 I want to be like Wanda ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 292
110108 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 287
110107 Summer Vacation!! Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 270
110106 What is the worst problem you have ever faced in your life and... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 340
110105 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 267
110104 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 1
110103 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 2
110102 Have ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 266
110101 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 2
110100 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 283
110099 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 2
110098 Homework. ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 286
110097 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 4
110096 Is there any policy that you don\'t like in you part-time job?... ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-16 334

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04