¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HW

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ö
2021-06-18 268

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. It makes diffrences of start line. However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)




Of coures, I believe that stugying in an international school and english kindergarden makes chilidren to be better than children who went to normal school in terms of English.
>>> Of course, I believe that studying in an international school and English kindergarten makes children better than those who went to normal school in terms of English.

Usually an internatuinal school and Engilish kindergarden's tution is more expensive than a normal school. 
>>> Usually an international school and English kindergarten's tuition is more expensive than a normal school. 

So, there are high quaility education circumstance and support. 
>>> So, it's expected to have a high-quality education circumstance and support. 

It makes diffrences of start line. 
>>> It makes the differences of the starting line in English acquisition. 

However I think that government must not ban those education. Because it is foolish to pursue durmbing down for equaility. 
>>> However I think that the government must not ban that education because it is foolish to pursue dumbing down for equality. 

The important thing is to provide an average education for everyone.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109433 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109432 Hello! ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 4
109431 How do you order food in English? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 399
109430 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 264
109429 I want to be a Eagle! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 390
109428 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 265
109427 What makes your city more special than the other ones in South... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109426 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 273
109425 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 312
109424 Eldery Koreans Become More Independent À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109423 Hoework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 303
109422 homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 231
109421 An expensive price ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 3
109420 Do you think that appearance is so important? ÃÖ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 243
109419 Two drugs - alcohol and tobacco - are considered to be (only)... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 229
109418 Please tell me about the place you grew up in. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 0
109417 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 1
109416 Which kind of greeting is annoying or weird for you? Why? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 257
109415 The best thing of our country À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 250
109414 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-06-16 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04